My Online Dating Experience So Far

This week I decided to try my hand at some online dating.  I don't meet that many new people in my day to day life, and I don't want to hook up with anyone at work (never sh*t where you eat), so I figured I would check it out.  Keep in mind I've only been doing it for 3 days.

The first woman I *chatted with seemed nice.  We exchanged some pleasantries and then she told me she wanted to ask me a serious question.  Not knowing what to expect (we don't even know each other, how serious could it be?), I told her to go ahead.  "Are you into swinging?" she asked.

Now, for those of you who don't know, I fell in love with my ex in undergrad over 20 years ago, and was monogamous with her for the entire time.   So, after making sure this woman wasn't talking about me touching another dude (not that there's anything wrong with that), I said I'd try almost anything once, so why not.  She said, "great!"  Then she asked me how much dating I had done since I'd broken up with my ex.  Not very much, I said.  "Oh, never mind then," she said.  "I don't want to be the transitional girl."  And then she was gone.

The next girl I **chatted with over the course of three nights.  She had approached me, was pretty, and seemed nice.  The only problem was she was in Georgia - Jersey, Georgia to be specific.  "Whatever," I thought, "no harm in talking with her."  We chatted for a few seconds using the dating site's internal chat, but then she asked me if we could switch to YahooMessenger because it was faster.   The site's chat seemed fine to me, but whatever, so we switched and started chatting.  She told me her mother was Canadian and her dad was from Spain.  Her grammar was a little messed up, but I chalked it up to her growing up as a non-English speaker.  She seemed nice, and very interested in me, so we decided to pick up our conversation the following evening.

The next night was busy for me, and I wasn't able to log on until late.  I didn't think she would still be on, but there she was, waiting for me.  "How long has she been sitting on Yahoo Messenger waiting for me to sign on?" I wondered.  That seemed a little odd, and even a bit desperate, but hey, I'm awesome, so why shouldn't she be that into me, right?  Something else was odd though.  I had gone back on the dating site to look at her profile again, and her account had been deleted.  I meant to ask her about that when we were chatting, but we didn't talk long, so I never got the chance.

The following night, again, I didn't log on YM until late, but she was right there waiting for me, again.  "How was your day?" I asked.  "Not good," she said.  "Two things are troubling my mind."  I asked her what was the matter.  She told me her mother was very sick.  "I'm sorry to hear that," I said.  "Yes," she said.  "And not only that, I need to fly to her to go take care of her and her medical treatment.  Her treatment is $5,000, and I only have about $4,000.  I need another $1,200 to take care of my mother."

"Shit," I thought.  If you're going to try and con me, at least don't insult me with the "sick mother" routine.  Come up with something a little more original than that.

"Hold on," I typed.  "I'll be right back."  Guess what?  I still haven't been back.

So, to sum up, in the few days I've been online dating I've (1) been propositioned and then rejected by a swinger; and (2) been the target of a phishing con.

All I can say is, well done, internet - well done.


* This was on OkCupid.

** This was on Match.com.